Saturday, January 7, 2012

Where am I and why am I in this handbasket?

Yesterday, I put my first disclaimer on a post.  Today, I'm about to make my second- not all of my new experiences are going to be good ones.

I awoke thinking that my new experience would be my first-ever trip on a fire truck.  Don't worry- I wasn't planning on cooking, and thus, requiring the fire department to show up at my house.  We were supposed to hit a birthday party for an extremely adorable 2 year old.  Best laid plans went spectacularly to crap when Little M became a vomit-geyser not once, but twice, on the return trip from soccer.  Repeat after me...FAB-U-LOUS.  I'm sure I'd be a great doctor or nurse if I (a) had any aptitude for science and (b) wasn't completely disgusted by a little bit of barf.  I digress.

By 4:30, I realized that I had no good deeds, no new experiences, no shower, and a Christmas gift that I needed to return.  There's an expression that indicates "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear."  Suffice it to say, I got schooled when I made my once-a decade trip into Victoria's Secret after making my return at Ann Taylor.

Trust me.  I know.  I'm old.  I'm rapidly approaching my late 30's, have had a child and I am fully aware that I am a solid decade removed from my best years.   I'm reasonably confident that the people who work in Victoria's Secret would prefer that I not denigrate their brand with my middle-aged, post-child ass.   I went in anyway- they were having a sale:)  I won't make that mistake again.

I was no more than 3 steps in the door when I saw a display that made me throw up in my mouth.  On what planet do we live that underwear that read "Eat Your Heart Out" and "Sure Thing" are acceptable things to sell?  I'll make it easy for you- the answer to that question is none other than our planet Earth.

Are you frigging kidding me?

I'd expect to see something like that on the Wildwood boardwalk, and I did see something like that in a cheesy gift shop on South Beach when I was trying to buy a mug, but mass retail?  REALLY?

Last I checked, the calendar said it was 2012 (despite my continuing to write 2011 at virtually every opportunity).  You mean to tell me that in 2012, THAT is what merchandisers think of women?   I'm disgusted--and more than that, pretty disheartened. I'm raising my daughter to believe that she can be whatever she wants, that she can accomplish anything that she works for, that she should be the kind of person who both commands respect and respects honorable people.

What does Victoria's Secret say?  If you want a boy to like you, really like you...wear underwear (that we sell) that says "F**K ME" capital letters....across your ass.

I'm so happy that I was in that store alone, and for the moment, I'm thrilled that Little M can't read.

What's next?  Abercrombie's already marketed push-up bras for 7 and 8 year olds.  Maybe Justice will come up with its "Jailbait"-branded line for summer 2013?  Enough.   Please stop disrespecting and objectifying our little girls, and the women they will someday become.  Enough.

To my Little M-- Don't ever allow a merchandiser, an organization, or a human being to undermine your worth.  You are beautiful inside and out.  You don't need anything sold in a store to make you loveable.  You don't need the whole world to love you.  My wish for you is that you someday find the one person (and I don't care what gender, race, or religion this person might be) who loves the version of you that you love, loves you in the way you want and need to be loved, and most of all, loves you in all the ways you deserve.

I wanted to commit these thoughts to paper before writer's block supplanted my rage.  As such, I still have a good deed to do, and will report on it tomorrow:)

Keep your words off my (and my daughter's) ass,

Little Miss Sunshine

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