Sunday, January 1, 2012

Damn you, Beyonce (and other musings on the new year)

I've never been one for New Year's Resolutions, primarily because I generally blow them by noon on January 2nd.  It turns out that I really can't resist cookies, donuts, caffeine, profanity and parliaments, and the fresh slate of a new year has historically done little to curb my affection for my vices.

What's more, having been a gym rat for the better part of 15 years, I also developed a deep-rooted distaste for those who I've coined "those new year's resolutions f'ers who take all the parking spots and all of the good bikes in spin class and force me to be here 20 minutes early to grab the bike that I had no problem getting in August."

Ah, yes, I'm just a regular ray of sunshine--- but, as it turns out, I am a regular ray of sunshine that got swayed in a big way by a performance by none other than Beyonce on a NYE program hosted by Ryan Seacrest.  (Those of you who still have social lives, feel free to mock me now).

For those of you that had actual NYE plans that didn't involve network TV, track pants, your sofa and a half-decent buzz from Blue Moon and a 2 week old bottle of red that tasted like NyQuil,  there was a clip of Beyonce singing a song titled "I Was Here".   The song is essentially about building a legacy and making the world a better place because (you guessed it!)

Wheels started spinning.  Dammit.

I'm a CPA, which means that by nature, I'm not the most adventurous spirit on the planet.    I write lists.  I'm not a risk taker.  I dot "i's" and cross "t's" and check my work and worry enough so that no one else on the planet needs to.  I don't, however, want my daughter to grow up to be mind-numblingly dull (a la mom), so I want to build some sort of legacy and some sort of example for her.   I want the world to be a better place because Little Girl M was here (DAMN YOU, Beyonce), which means that I need the world to be a better place because I was here.  (DAMN YOU, Beyonce, squared).

From this mind-haze, a year long anthropological experiment was born, with me as subject.  I'm not about to set some lofty goal of a huge life-changing event.  What I am going to do, however, is take small, daily steps to be less dull and (hopefully) someone that the universe thinks isn't a waste of air and flesh.    So, for the next year, every day, I am to do 2 things:

1.  Have a brand-new experience
2.  Do something that is helpful/useful/beneficial to someone else.


Day One Summary of Project "Get off your ass and get a life"

1.  New Experience-- Spouse and I took Little Miss M to the Brandywine River Museum, which is a museum that is less than 5 minutes from my house, and that I've never been to despite living in this area for 9 years.  Little Miss M has expressed considerable interest recently about going to Paris, which is kind of mind-blowing considering that she's 3. Let's just say that 90 minutes in a local museum has made me realize that my dream of enjoying the sights and sounds of April (2012) in Paris with my squirt just might be a hair premature.  Highlights include:  (1) finding 3 "time out" locations in a very small building, (2) Little M screaming "that lady's naked and her boobs are saggy" in the Andrew Wyeth exhibit, and (3) having multiple near heart attacks as Little M attempted to touch the art.

I know the Mona Lisa has survived for centuries (or at least I think it has!!) and survived multiple world wars, but I'm not entirely certain it can survive 15 minutes in the presence of Hurricane M.

2-  Goodwill To Men (and Women):  You know what?  I did a good deed today, but describing in more detail kind of seems more self-promotional than I'm willing to be.  I'll just say "check" on the box and move on.

Stay tuned.....let's see if I can get through January on this experiment.

Happy 2012, everyone.

---Little Miss Sunshine

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