The Divine Miss (Little) M

A spattering of smart-assed snippets of awesome from my very quotable squirt

Important Note:  I'm really not an unfit mother.  She's just unnaturally clever:)

Important Note 2:  Many of these were previously featured on Facebook (sorry for the lack of new content).

Little M on aging with grace:
Mommy, can you buy me wrinkles like yours for my birthday?

Little M on drivers who run stop signs on her watch:
M: Stop at the stop sign, you douche!!!
LMS: (I know I'm supposed to yell, but, let's face it, the guy was a douche)
LMS: Did you call that guy a douche? That's not nice
M: I shouldn't have to call people a douchey-douche (awesome, the double douche)
LMS: You're right, you shouldn't call people that
M: No, Mommy. That's not what I said. People shouldn't do stupid things so I have to call them a douche.

Self esteem lessons from Little M:
Mommy, why am I so awesome?

A not so quiet night in Little M-ville:
Scene description: Incessant talking and yelling
LMS: It's quiet-time. I don't want to hear another peep out of you.
M: (whisper-shouting in ear) peep. peep. PEEP!!!!!!!!!!
M: (again): Mommy, laugh. I'm hilarious.

Little M on the big "difference":
M: Mommy, I know the difference between boys and girls
LMS: (massive inward groan and fear of God instilled) What is the difference?
M: Mommy, girls rule and are pretty. Boys just eat a lot of food.

Clothing selection with Little M:
M: I want to wear the purple shirt because Connor likes girls who wear purple.
LMS: We don't get dressed for boys. We look pretty for ourselves, not boys.
M: That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Stop being so dramatic. 

Spelling lessons from Little M:
M:  Mommy, did you know that S-D-Y spells fart?  (hysterical laughter ensues)

Little M on personal grooming:
Mommy, my toes are jacked up and I need a pedicure.

Little M's highly refined sense of smell:
Mommy, boys smell like p.u.. Girls smell like cupcakes.