1. I need to pack it up and move to London- like immediately.
2. I can at least partially blame my complete lack of athletic success on my height. At 5'4", I'm too tall to be a gymnast and too short for virtually everything else. Clearly, my advanced age, my general lack of coordination and my inability to do so much as a cartwheel have nothing at all to do with it.
3. I see nothing ironic about shoveling ice cream into my face while watching others exercise on TV.
4. Little M just might have the same sort of overinflated self-confidence that caused men to invade countries.
The London games are Little M's second Olympics, and she's actually seen less London coverage than in Beijing. We've all seen less, though that's mostly because during the Beijing games, Little M was about 2 weeks old, and we were all awake--- all the freaking time. Ahhh-- the good old days of sleep deprivation and watching coverage of a sport I've never heard of at 4 AM.
It certainly wasn't intentional, but it would appear as though much of the coverage that Little M has watched was of women's sports. I probably wouldn't have even noticed if not for the little nugget that she dropped before watching Michael Phelps swim.
Mommmmy---- why are BOYS at the Olym-kicks? The Olym-kicks are just for girls. Boys can't play SPORTS!
Okaaaaaaay.
I attempted to explain to the young miss that boys were allowed to play sports, too---- and sometimes, they were even really good at them. No avail. She would have none of it. I may as well have attempted to convince her that broccoli tastes better than ice cream.
Title IX be damned....reverse sexism is alive and well at Casa Sunshine. Maybe I've taken the whole "girl power" message just a hair too far.
I was able to convince her to watch the Phelps race to illustrate that boys were, in fact, able to participate in sport.
Allow me to summarize how well that went. FAIL.
In this particular race, Michael Phelps was swimming in an individual medley. During this race, like in every other IM, Michael Phelps swam the backstroke----which just so happens to be the one swim stroke that Miss Know-It-All knows a bit about.
According to Little M, Michael Phelps swims the backstroke incorrectly. As in terribly, terribly wrong.
Little M: Mommmmmmmy....that BOY is swimming the backstroke wrong!
Little Miss Sunshine: Ummmm, no.....he's the best swimmer that's ever lived.
Little M: Mommy, at swimming lessons, they taught me to do the backstroke like this....(imagine a 3.5 foot person flapping her arms like a butterfly on crack).
LMS: Well, that's how little kids swim the backstroke. He's swimming it like grown-ups swim do.
Little M: I am a genius at swimming. Miss Trish told me so at swimming lessons.
LMS: You are a good swimmer, but he is the best swimmer in the world.
Little M: Whatever. He needs to go to swim lessons with Miss Trish. He's doing it wrong.
LMS: (inward groan)
Little M: I told you that boys don't belong at the Olym-kicks. They don't know what they're doing.
I'm half tempted to write a fan letter to Michael Phelps that would read a little something like this:
Dear Mr. Phelps,
Congratulations on your amazing career. I am a huge fan of your work and of your accomplishments.
However, I must note that my 4 year old daughter has taken offense to your incorrectly executed backstroke and has strongly suggested that you consider taking swim lessons as corrective action.
So that you know, my 4 year old is a self-proclaimed swimming expert, having completed 2 whole weeks of swimming lessons with Miss Trish in a dank and 120 degree natatorium that smelled like chlorine, exhaustion and feet.
Best of luck to you,
Little Miss Sunshine
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My daughter knows more about swimming than Michael Phelps. Who knew?
And boys--- don't let Little M get you down. Someday, your athletic achievements will be properly recognized. I can just feel it.
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