Monday, March 19, 2012

Ma'am is a four letter word

Greetings from paradise, everyone!

Since I am completely superstitious, I won't more fully comment on the vacation until we're firmly back into suburbia---but I will say that Little M has morphed into a tiny, brunette mermaid, both adults are having fun, and despite my moniker of "Little Miss Sunshine", it turns out that I am not so sun-friendly.  Fire-engine is a bit of an exaggeration, but I'm definitely beyond fuschia and brick on the sun damage scale.

Go ahead, judge away.  I do know better- I just chose to ignore my better judgment.

On another note, I had a brief encounter on the elevator that has me questioning what we are teaching our young people in terms of good manners.  Don't get me wrong---I'm all for manners and I'm all for respect.    With that in mind, I am pretty sure that good manners dictate that I should be insulted in public elevators.

Evaluate the facts and circumstances for yourself, please:

The scene:  LMS in elevator with a mid-to-late teenage boy wearing a Penn State shirt.

LMS:  Cool shirt.  Do you go to Penn State?
Misguided teenager:  No ma'am.  I'm still in high school, ma'am.
LMS:  (looking around for the ma'am in the elevator.  realizes that there are only two people in elevator)
LMS:  Lucky you.
Misguided teenager:  I want to go to Penn State, ma'am.
Misguided teenager exits elevator with "good night, ma'am."

You read correctly.  I was ma'am-ed 4 times in the span of a 30 second conversation.

Go ahead.  Laugh.  It's funny.

I'm not that old, dammit!   I've been using moisturizer that it supposed to take 10 years off of my face.  I don't have (many) fine lines and wrinkles.  Due to a freakish genetic gift that I've received from my dad, I don't have any gray hair.  (THANKS, DAD!)  No matter.  I got ma'am-ed anyway.

Before you bucket me as being a complete a-hole, I will give credit to the kid in the elevator for being polite and for properly using manners as currently defined.  I just think that the specific manners that dictate that we call women still in their 30s "ma'am" blow big................umm, balloons.  Blow big balloons.  Yes.  That's exactly what I wanted to say.

If manners are intended to be a reflection of respect, the flagrant use of ma'am misses the mark....big time.  I don't feel respected and wise.   I just feel freaking old.  Feeling freaking old blows big.....umm, bubbles.  Yes,  bubbles.  That's exactly what I wanted to say.

I'd like to rewrite that particular section of the etiquette rulebook, if I may.  If a woman looks like Mrs. Claus or any Golden Girl who wasn't Blanche (btw, Blanche totally rocked)---ma'am away.  If not, how about we just keep our mouths shut?

Feel free to make my day at any point and call me "Miss",

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